When I was in high school, I started to self-harm. But not to end my life, just to feel something… anything. A part of me thinks it was a huge cry for help, even though I was highly embarrassed about it.

I really enjoyed reading about the author’s experience and what goes on in a suicidal thinker’s mind. It was interesting to read about similar thoughts I had that related to suicidal thoughts. Looking back now, I guess I did have them. Like she had stated, I too would think “I wonder if anyone would even miss me or care if I was gone.” One thing that I think we can all relate to is when she says, “What I really craved – as do you, I assume – was relief, love, understanding, and connection.”

I take medicine as well as the author, and I am glad she spoke about it so freely and positive, because medication is still very stigmatized. In the book she states, “It does not cure me, nor is it a substitute for therapy or behavior modification.” She couldn’t have said it any better. She also included some medication tips.

All of this made me realize that I wasn’t alone, but I wish I had realized it then as a 16-year-old instead of now. Which is why I encourage young adults and adults to read this book as a guide to what goes on in a suicidal thinker’s mind and how we can notice and prevent it. This book is informative even for individuals who do not have suicidal thoughts. The information provided shares how the reader can be a support system to those who do have these intruding thoughts and how to help. 

Here are some things I want to share with you from the book that I think is important:

“Suicidal” is not a feeling. It is a state of being. The author explains how she chose to change her language and words to express her state of mind instead of voicing them as an expression. 

Blauner states that she learned that her suicidal thoughts were being triggered and that she had to figure out what it was that would make her feel that way and address it. “Once you start separating your feelings from your thoughts verbally, you can start doing it emotionally.” -Blauner

A suicide “gesture” is completely different from a suicide “attempt”. Regardless, both are a call for help that something has to be done. A gesture is typically less severe than an attempt. However, both are still significant and should never be ignored. 

Suicide is often referred to as a solution to a problem. But death is never a solution.

The author has about 25 tips and tricks to poinpoint the root of suicidal thoughts and how to help prevent suicide and help suicidal thinkers. In the book she includes, and goes into detail about all of these but here are the ones that I figured would be more helpful to a suicidal thinker:

MAKING AN EMERGENCY PHONE / CONTACTS LIST: author includes hotlines to use as well as what to do when your brain is telling you to kill yourself. In this same chapter she talks about, how you should make a contract with people who you can call whenever you are in crisis and have them be aware. She also talks about,

MAKING A CRISIS PLAN: This helped the author figure out what she needed and what her feelings were. It also taught her to ask for help without tall the “drama” of a suicide gesture. Refer to pages 71 through 83. She has about 5 examples of crisis plans and how you can create your own.

TRACING YOUR FEELINGS: She talks about the importance of learning how to recognize your feelings and figure out the source or trigger. She stresses that it is best to have an awareness of our feelings in order get them into control. She recommends doing a feelings timeline but you can read more about that on pages 90-94

INCORPORATING A FEELINGS VS. FACTS MENTALITY: meaning to know the importance between stating a feelings and stating belief. 

SAYING AFFIRMATIONS/WRITING AFFRIMATIONS 

HELPING OTHERS and doing acts of kindness for people, whether it be a stranger or someone you know, will help add positive energy and make a difference. 

And then I will skip all the way to PART 5 of the book: HELPING THE SUICIDAL THINKER, which I think is the best section of the book to gain knowledge on what to do and how to prevent and talk to a suicidal thinker.